It’s crazy to think a year ago I was three days away from boarding a ship for five months. I felt so free (and scared) to pack up all my belongings and peace out on the city I loved. Now for the first summer since living in New York I am just here. Which is funny I say just because for years I wanted this very thing and now that I have what I wanted it’s weird.
I don’t know how to do anything a little bit. After not having a job for months after the cruise ship I found two. After living in 5 feet of space for five years I found a two-bed room apartment. After years of fruitless relationships with emotionally unavailable men I found one that is refreshingly open (or did he find me? #qtna). Despite all the changes being positive I still found living within the changes difficult. I had been so used to living in the free fun unstable life that some parts of this new found stability felt like failure, you mean I have to go to work five days a week?! I have to really consider someone else when making all my decisions?! I have a whole two bedrooms to decorate?! Ok, the last one is definitely first world problems. Super thankful for the new abode with my own kitchen to film in. In actuality I’m super thankful for all the changes and I have to accept it’s ok to have growing pains.
Let’s CookIN has been on the backest of burners as I’ve been going thru all these changes. Cooking ten meals a week for my latest celebrity client and teaching at Sur La Table has been receiving all of my energy. Since April my days off have been far and few between leaving my creative capabilities exhausted. While I loved teaching at Sur La Table I had to make the decision to quit to be able to focus on Let’s CookIn. Classic example of choosing long term goals over immediate reward. Sure right now Sur La Table provides gratification of teaching and inspiring people in the kitchen but Chefleen and Let’s CookIN has greater future potential and it’s my own creation.
Finding motivation has been hard but summer is here and I’m calling myself out. My potential is greater than what I’ve been living. I claim what is mine. I accept what is. I’m grateful for all the experiences along the way.I am present. I AM HERE! Drake and Beyoncé have new albums.
You with me?